Finding myself


I don’t expect anyone to understand me, I just expect someone to listen. Never did I think that even to have that kind of expectation is too high.

Sometimes families can bring you the biggest joy to your life but they can hurt you the most, they give you the most pain and say stuff you wouldn’t even wish on your enemy.

I make mistakes, but now my problem is, do I leave my home for good and gain inner peace with myself or do I stay and put up with it all and become the person I hate I was. I’m so full of anger that am ashamed, I don’t speak to anyone anymore, I don’t share anything with anyone, because no one can be trusted. Friends become a distant memory and family has become a forced responsibility.

I’m at a place where I just remove myself from a situation and avoid confrontation, I keep my self confined within 4 walls and barricade the door so no one can disturb, I speak when am spoken to, only to answer questions.

This isn’t living anymore, this is just existing.