I was in the art building working late night thinking I could catch up on my work, but I have seem to hit a mental block, I don’t know how I can carry on my project in a way that would be interesting to the viewers. I had ideas of creating an installation, printing on to glass, creating images that form optical illusions but trying to carry out such ambitious ideas seems to be a struggle. I fear the only person that’s stopping me from doing we’ll is me, myself. It sounds strange but I feel like I have lost interest in my work, I get easily distracted by my personal problems so much it has become a hinderance.
I regret starting my contextual log book soo late, it’s time I learn from my mistakes now and be more better prepared for the next year.
To work towards my goal I have to be more organised in terms of my work as we’ll as thoughts. I can’t let things get to me so easily.
There is light at the end of the tunnel I just have to travel far to reach it.
The image I used is from my own photography, I started to become fascinated by natural lights and the aura it can create, when I stayed at my mums house i burned scented candles as it created a delicious aroma. I want to expand this idea more in my current project at uni.
From the start of this photography course, i have been excited to learn new skills and play around with images, but i needed a concept, and a theme to play on. My mind stream endless ideas like focusing on my surroundings, or capture images of moving water in ink, or even the idea of creating a stop motion of my day routine, but i ended up deciding to go for something different. I explored out my own home, i explored a little further away from Coventry and returned back to my hometown, my place of serenity and stillness. I wanted to capture jolly good vibe as Christmas draws close, and took photos of the German Markets. I chose this concept because it was cheery, and most importantly it made me feel homely. Even in the dark, seeing the lights from the German Markets, the nutcrackers, i felt like a child- i reminisced days of me being a young girl and wishing for a white Christmas and having my family around me as well as the presents. Waking up to my mums cup of tea, these images may not be important to other people but they are important to me, it brought me back to the days where i felt warm whereas since i started uni i have been feeling rather cold and distant.
Life has thrown a lot on me, but during the winter, the connotation of Christmas, brought joy to me. I think of how i waited excited to see my dad that Christmas night, i would stay awake till 2am until my dad came back from work so that i could eat his food. He would only cook the one time at restaurant and bring back the food as he was a chef, he didn’t really cook at home (he was far to lazy to carry on cooking at home) but when he brought his special dishes from work, that topped it off for me… the aroma of his tandoori chicken (i’m from a traditional Asian family, we don’t tend to have turkey) and me and my big brothers use to fight for the meatiest part of the chicken, ahh the fights. Christmas wasn’t just about the laughter it was about the banter and the fights and arguments and tears. It was the only time where i would see my whole family together. But as i grew older, that slowly started to disappear.
Taking these photos and remembering these moments was quite self healing, yes, i cried a little, but who wouldn’t.